Huey's photoblog!

Outreach @ CapeTown

2010-07-02T06:14:00.000+08:00

not somewhere that people normally go to for an outreach, but still. its awesome. anyway, all the pics cant be edited on this computer (its my hosts' one) so forgive the small (and some big) imperfections, i'll get them done asap after the outreach! ENJOY!

ok, so xin changed my template and i have NO IDEA HOW TO CHANGE THE LAYOUT OF THE PICS. (big hint there, friend!. haha.)

first pic and third pic at Garangkuwa (phelghm-ar-ang-ku-wa) with the kids, i reallyyy love these 2 pics. altho not my fav kids..
the 2nd pic is a pic of our standing tent which we used for outreach at KwamHlanga (pronounced: k-waam-sh-lang-a) and my feet (just to show that i was there and they were sticking out of the van's window anyway). and the last pic is all that remained of our tent when the wind blew down our flimsy piece of canvas shelter. TWICE. enjoy the pics! (: im loathe to put up any more because I CANNOT EDIT THEMMMM. this is torture)

fantastic end to my week in SA.

2010-06-06T02:26:00.000+08:00

this was literally in mary-lou's backyard. awesome stuff eh. (: huge hill with the whole view of krugersdorp and beyondddd. cool stuff. placed the camera on a rock and ran over some miscellaneous bush remnants to get into the picture. 10seconds was barely enough.

but it was an awesome day. and i seriously cant believe i'm doing all these things like walking down streets with an awesome sunset in the background. it makes me feel alive. haha.

but honestly, i love the blue skies here and everything. the crisp air, the people, the sunsets. its an awesome God we serve. speaking of which. my outreach starts on monday. for the next 5 weeks i'll be out on a team with about 10 other people in the townships of pretoria (basically like, low-income settlements) working on sharing little sparks of God's love with people who need it a whole lot. (: so pray for me!

and i will be back after the 12july with awesome(hopefully) photos and tell of the great things God has done around, through and with me. cant wait seriously.

this is southafrica and its an amazing place.

quite cool how far God has brought me!

Baby steps in SA

2010-06-03T20:51:00.002+08:00

a tiny preview of beautiful africa with huge flowers and blue skies. God is amazing, ja?
so thats me in front of the union building (where the president stays). the buildings in the background make up about 1/4 of the city and its an amazing place!

this was breakfast. consisted of bread, chips, polony (which is some sort of very pink ham), cheese and egg. and there was a choice of "russian". i have yet to try it and we were joking that it comes with a real russian in your food. this whole thing is called s-something i cant remember exactly what. but i'll update once i do. but it was nice and i was actually supposed to bite into it like a burger.

and that was my friend's food. some sort of beans mash (name of which i cannot remember either!) and chicken stew. it tasted good though! hee.

the experience was interesting too. saw 2 white girls who were obviously on drugs w needlemarks on their arms. and because we were chatting w the owner and because i stick out like a sore thumb (being chinese), one of the girls sitting behind started chatting to me. and she shook my hand, asked where i was from and introduced herself as british. thing is, she spoke afrikaans and totally had no brit accent, and her hand was really sweaty (which eduardo said was another sign that she was on drugs). so although the 2 of us didnt feel threatened whatsoever, our normal conversation kinda stopped and we got out of there pretty quick. he calls it the "edge". the walk to union square after that was uneventful but seriously, pretoria is a beautiful place. everyone who reads too much crap off the internet should take it w a pinch of salt. yes, crime happens and there are unsafe people around, but pretoria is amazing and mostly, i've felt very safe. (:

we couldnt go into the union building without a SA identity card, passport and a letter, so just had to settle for a picture reflection of the main entrance.

africa is awesome. this might be discounted as the "high" i'm getting from the start of my trip, but i love this place.

baking!

2010-05-13T03:09:00.002+08:00

baking. butter. brownies. and badpeople. (ok poor attempt at alliteration)

anyway, first pics in a long time. quality stuff will come later. HOPEFULLY.

the ultimate baking essentials.

butter, eggs, vanilla essence, lemons, measuring cups and a small dose of pouting.

(model in the picture can be included for a very small price)

its the jc championship finals season. and i think sports photography still beats food photography hands down. or maybe, its just cuz i get better photos out of sports. which basically means, lousy food photos. OHWELL, they tasted heavenly so who cares.

Walk With Me.

2010-04-25T01:37:00.001+08:00

Walk With Me., originally uploaded by hueythatsme.

china may just be happening! (:

2010-04-21T14:32:00.002+08:00

and i'll walk on through the wet slippery roads in the gloomy rain, until the day i am set free from this exam-misery.

not the best picture. but it'll have to do until i get the time to shoot again by next tuesday.

2010-04-14T01:47:00.003+08:00

my film camera is down. ): i dont know whats wrong with it. it keeps giving me blank rolls even though the film advances just fine and the shutter count moves like it should!

the lack of photos is partly because ive been waiting for my 2 rolls of film to be developed but they came out blankkk, and partly because school is eating me up.i just have NO MOOD TO SHOOT. maybe i should just bring my D70 out more.

but i hope this blog will be more alive this coming june. south africa awaits. (: i just need to survive these 12 more days. and then another 9. and then another 25 (veryveryfast,busy&exciting) days.

2010-03-30T02:39:00.005+08:00

its nice having my camera right next to me while mugging. thing is, its too huge to carry around with my laptop and various textbooks. so these few days, its been a blessing to have the car with me so i'm not limited in the amount of things i can bring. (:

someone commented that the car is like my locker, with heels, sports shoe, bathing stuff, camera, notes and a whole lot of other rubbish. hahah. and my passport even. because i had to buy my ticket and didnt know my passport number by heart. some nicer products from my beloved D70. (:

not the most awesome photo ever, but patience, i need time to get back the feel of my camera.

and another, the sky was just too nice to resist.

so thats all for today.

essay, here i come, again. ):

pee

2010-03-12T23:05:00.003+08:00

a photo taken whilst studying late at night in school last sem. today is reminiscent of those long nights, except tonight i'm at the airport with a lot more lonely souls for company. not the best photo but.. i like the lockers and the light. if i were really serious about this photo, i think i would have shifted those benches out of the way.. thank goodness i kept my sanity then. (and too bad i dont have my camera now, i would make a fool of myself at the airport)

some form of entertainment while writing what my ass says: (if you actually read this, you ARE bored)

xin'en says:

i like ur pm

peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

huey the blob - says:

pee?

xin'en says:

u need to pee

NOW

HAHHAA

huey the blob - says:

i pee a lot of times alr.

hahaha thats not gg t work.

xin'en says:

i miss english tea

huey the blob - says:

i know what u're up to

xin'en says:

pee

huey the blob - says:

MMMM

xin'en says:

pee

PEE

HAHAHA

huey the blob - says:

i want PE

u are obsessed anw.

xin'en says:

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

incentives.

2010-03-12T17:24:00.004+08:00

I NEED AN INCENTIVE. something exciting in the next week, or nextnext week, or anytime.

like, maybe getting my black&white roll of film developed, or a nice dinner to chill out (all kevin's fault, pangseh-ing today).

grrrmph. migration is getting the better of me.

dont shoot and drive.

2010-03-08T20:00:00.007+08:00

when i am in the drivers seat and with my camera,

this is a warning that passengers should take heed of (:

and yes, macdonalds day! haha. or maybe we should term it, scare-kevin-out-of-bed day.

tsk. blob.

2010-02-27T23:54:00.002+08:00

indeed, a blob, i am.

but it shall not be so in 42 hours time when i am free of 1 essay and 1midterm.

my camera will be well-utilised, and i will finally get the exercise i want.

obviously i didnt take this photo.. credits to xin for this. but i came up w the concept after noticing xin's earlier shots which were too blob-focused for my liking.. since i am to be named as such, might as well link all of me right. so name, nickname, camera, new toy, and myself all in one. my new, old 28mm f2.8 that focuses up to 20cm!

i feeeeeeel like a blob.

committment.

2010-02-21T00:08:00.004+08:00

longest race i've ever run.

and its not even the start of week 6.

although not as if the problems end with the sem. but whatever.

enough, please.

enough nonsense. enough crap. enough rubbish.

THEREFORE, SINCE we are surrounded by such a GREAT cloud of witnesses, let us THROW off everything that hinders and sin that SO EASILY entangles, and let us RUN with PERSEVERANCE the race MARKED OUT for us. Hebrews 12:1.

in a weird way, i wish this wasnt up on my wall to remind me. because its so much easier to run away. step 1 of problem-solving: identify problem - done. step 2, in progress.

Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow

2010-02-16T21:33:00.005+08:00

¹ Praise be to the LORD my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.

² He is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
who subdues peoples under me.
³ O LORD, what is man that you care for him,
the son of man that you think of him?
⁴ Man is like a breath;
his days are like a fleeting shadow.
- Psalm 144: 1-4

and shadows we are,
soon no longer to be seen in places that exist where we no longer are.
and even these places being mere temporary abodes of life.
this photo was taken onboard the 96-year-old Doulos.
the shadows outside the tour booth belong to PJ, a S.Korean guy and a local at the start of a tour.

and i've decided not to join them for a last "voyage" from tuas to keppel bay. ): i really wanted to. but, i tell myself, priorities priorities priorities. i need the time to settle my essay, and spend time on the things that really matter. although, really, the idea of going all the way inside the engine room and one more voyage....... ok. enough. i dont think i will regret this unlike what xin says.

cny

2010-02-16T18:31:00.002+08:00

awesome red velvet cupcakes.

and an even more awesome function where i just drag and drop my photos from flickr! omg. i cant believe i didnt know about this. hahahahahaha. hurrah!

i wish time could rewind though.

(and i thought that i was over this "i miss the past" crap.)

but fact is, i think sometimes i still do. especially when there are strong memory triggers.

like dinner at my place yesterday. on the bright side, huge reunion dinner in heaven i think.

and to end off, a photo that really speaks of the friendships formed onboard. zsuzsi and kat, they're one of my fav impromptu models i realise.

a silver lining.

2010-02-10T19:49:00.003+08:00

one of my favorites from the roll of film. even though it does look rather plain. and normal. and filled with imperfections.. i think it will look nice in black&white too, but this works well enough to show the teeny sliver of silver lining. do you see it? its right next to where the light catches the lens and produces some beautiful lens flare. awesome reminder in my life.

God is faithful. He has always been. and even though i'm the one swinging up and down like some bratty little kid on a roller coaster, committing and un-committing myself over and over, He's always been there, ever-ready to guide me back to the straight and narrow.

"But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." - john 20:31.

what a God. He included a book specially to address all my doubts about His Anointed One. He made ready a man for over 70 years to write this book. and He did all this, so that I, and the rest of the world, would believe, and have eternal life. i can only pray that this excitement will continue unabated.

SA 2010.

2010-02-08T21:54:00.003+08:00

kind of got sidetracked when i was searching for this photo that i wanted to post. but here it is anyway. (: i know its been posted and reposted but i really love this shot. its beauty, imperfection, grace and love all-in-one. and its my laptop's wallpaper now cuz i just cant wait to leave for SA. the modules are exciting, the opportunities that abound in so many ministries, and going to safaris, getting dumbfounded at God's creation, meeting my friend again... i just cannot wait. plus, there's also the added benefit of being out of touch with all the issues back here.

praying that everything works out fine.

tiny me.

2010-02-08T21:39:00.004+08:00

feel like this teeny crab sometimes. today is one of those days that i enjoy what i'm studying, but i'm so frustrated because i see no solution and some of these theories fly past my limited brain.

small blessings in life.

2010-02-07T22:19:00.002+08:00

such a random shot that somehow really attracted me.. i think its partly the colors and partly the incongruity that gas pipes serve as broomstick-holders. haha. this was taken at like, 8am in the morning just behind joan bowen's cafe. its things like this that get me going in the mornings. (:

a stranger's pair of feet from opposite me. i noticed the way it seemed to fit a frame really well and how it kind of depicts two people who've come from different directions and who meet at a particular place at a particular time. feel like its quite a poignant shot for some reason.

but took me v long to decide whether to shoot it or not. a lady was staring at me because i was aiming my camera at the floor and just being very weird. HEH. in the end though, i decided it was just too good to pass up, and i took two shots. glad i did. hehh.

getting 2 rolls of film back with quite good results made my day today. (:

lol. i remember getting the first roll back with really mediocre results. but hopefully, this will improve over time. i feel like my photos are back in the 2006/J1 quality. it was a well-spent $22. (:

rediscovering photography (:

2010-02-05T20:12:00.002+08:00

a bit screwed up scans of film shots from my fisheye cam during jc. but kinda cool! was obviously more interested in using my physics tys in a way that it was not meant to be used.....

been bringing out the FG-20 film camera with me these past 3 days because of the insanely early hours i need to wake up. and because life was getting a teeny bit too dreary. i needed something to look forward to, and the small things in life weren't cutting it, whereas the big things in life were, and ARE, still too far away. so much thanks to xin going crazy over her baking. i decided to bring my film camera out. which is the exact reason i bought it in the first place. taking out my D70 would entice me to shoot like a trigger-deprived idiot, and probably take shots that are so average, that they kill my hopes.

so, some surprises to come when i get my roll of film developed on saturday (: i'm quite excited. and its working. i actually got up earlier than i had to today, because i was looking forward to a nice stroll (with the camera) to the busstop, and because i wanted to go early and tackle some bsf questions. i think i've stumbled onto a good plan here. (: awesomeeeeee!

SCC. (super child centric)

2010-02-04T00:30:00.004+08:00

miss all my scc rascals a whole lot..

i understand kids a lot better now that i'm doing this module of practicing social work from a child-centric point of view. it suddenly makes a lot more sense why kids like bryan listen to aunty imm but not to me or the other temps.. we were not listening.

i miss them with all their quirks. time for a visit soon. (:

scc's functioning is really very well done. (given its limitations)

fall, cut, clean, heal.

2010-02-02T23:29:00.004+08:00

the realisation of the exposed skin scraped raw by life.
the retreat of the acknowledgement that such wounds will fester without cleansing,
the refusal of the administering of aid that is sure to hurt, badly.
and yet,
the retention of the knowledge of the cost of that aid.

but there will be redeeming strength, and courage,
from above,
to earth,
with truth,
and then grace,
to face up to the declaration of faith, hope and love.

falling on gravel does hurt.

and some scrapes can go really deep.

saving. grace.

2010-01-22T02:27:00.003+08:00

there is no respite, from farewells, workloads, readings, responsibilities, relationships. there is no end within sight, not from where i am anyway. but i can only draw strength from the only constant source i've known. and i think i enjoy this dependence. its good.

when one really reflects on these two words - "saving" and "grace", its impossible to complain any longer about the situations that one is stuck in.

social work is a bittersweet lesson in itself. the fallenness of man is overwhelming. children pay dearly for mistakes that adults make. and sometimes, even those adults are powerless to rise up against a self-serving society, concerned only with economic gain and material wealth. the injustice done against children is beyond comprehension. it is a depressing and draining topic to mull over, because, sometimes the doubt that flows in clashes so hard against the standing truth that it feels like fighting battles without even lifting a finger. sometimes.

in a way, i hope that this inner turmoil will never cease because it means i still have a heart. and because it means that i have not become just another callous member of society who runs over the trampled lives of God's precious people. the downtrodden, the sick and the poor had a special place in Jesus' ministry, and i pray that i will never be allowed to lose this.

and so it returns to the idea of a "saving grace". that, by that grace, i am where i am. by the saving power of that grace, i am able to stand against the onslaught of obscenities and the resulting carnage left behind, and that, in the near future, i will be equipped to stand my ground alongside these people and reflect the abundance of God's saving grace into their lives as well.

and this long exposition was the culmination of having to think & write a personal statement of why i'm choosing to take development econs module, and two social work lectures rife with examples. to not have any reaction to lectures is still strange when this is what social work lectures include: this photo essay on the rights of a child.

2010-01-19T01:53:00.002+08:00

Entry denied. or is it?

Who is there?

its been an eventful week, and its only monday. maybe having tuesdays off is a good thing after all. but the weekend was good.. cell went a little better than i expected, but then again, i'm not exactly an optimist. and i'll be going to the ship on wed to bring joel's friends around((: it makes me dread the 8am-12pm day lesser!

maybe i'll have more nice photos of the ship/people soon. i'm going to start a "best of Doulos" photoalbum/blog/something soon. the doctor (while i was there) always names his folders "best of (something)", and he has awesome photos. i'm naming it in a similar way, so besides the photos that mean a lot to me, there'll be nice stuff inside! (i hope people will find it nice too though.) (: mini-project of mine. this is just a preview. (:

farewell(s)

2010-01-13T00:13:00.003+08:00

i thank God for the many special friendships that He has granted me even 2 years after my stint onboard. a small consolation is that, the goodbyes arent final. (: and that maybe, today's one will be a very happy reunion in 5 to 6 months time. maybe!

i know not what to do.

2010-01-06T00:43:00.004+08:00

there is such a huge chasm.

i stand here and rue the day that we first started to drift.

even now, i cannot do anything but stand, ponder and pray.

part of me wants to move on and ignore this,

the other part of me tells me i need to do something.

even if that is the very thing i'm afraid of.

i see you walking down a path that you see is right for you.

sometimes i wonder if the past will mean enough for you to listen, just for a bit.

but how do i say it from way back over here?

so, for now, my heart clings on to the promise God has given me.

that He will teach me and instruct me in the way I should go.

and i pray.

for you.

its a whole new year.

2010-01-04T17:32:00.006+08:00

my '09-'10 transition was spent on the floor of the chapel. excited, not because of the prospect of a new year, but because of the photo i had envisioned. obviously, it needs a lot more work, and it could do with about 5minutes more of planning. but somehow, it works out okay. not too fantastic, but just acceptable.

spending the first few minutes of 2010 on the floor made me feel safe, shrouded in the anonymity of being out of the line of sight of many, and the chance to spend a few moments in solitude.

Happy New Year, friends. (:

Shine.

Here I am Lord, Send Me.

how people sing this verse with so much gusto if they really mean it, i dont understand. but to each his own, i guess.

except that, once again i am confronted with these issues that no one ought to be able to ignore. acknowledging the existence of all this makes me a hypocrite. pretending it doesnt exist makes me just another selfish person in a world of many.the incongruity of it all, is that, in some way,

this is just how the way the world is ordered.

and because of our fallenness, the poor's suffering is unabated, their burdens are not only left un-lightened, but are increased. children are left to fend for themselves in the streets while adults grapple with all sorts of issues from starvation to prostitution to alcoholism. and here's the best thing of all; so few people seem to care.

i will never ever forget, that man i saw crawling along the streets of bj. and but i will also never ever forget the smiles on the faces of those boys under the bridge. a new year means nothing to them. and this year will mean nothing to me if i do not understand why and if i do nothing about it.

Facing the Giants, of 2010.

2010-01-01T23:35:00.007+08:00

Blessed New Year friends. (:
small. insignificant. a dwarf in comparison. but called to fulfill a destiny it was created for. no new year's celebration is complete without the partypopper. this one seems to hold its own in the photo. no matter how much attention the balloon draws with its dominance within the frame, the popper's small figure eventually draws one's gaze upon itself. many inferences that can be drawn from this photo, but one thing is for certain, when i took this photo, it was not because of the alluring translucence of the balloon's shadow.

and so i embark on another year of seeking, of living and of giving glory to a jealous God; a sovereign God; a mighty God; a loving God; my God. He is the Jehovah Jireh, and He is so much more. regardless of all the valleys that await me, i'm looking forward to reach those vantage points where i once again experience a whole new aspect of this God i serve. all glory to God. (:

so hello, 2010.

another year of headaches and heartaches.
but also another year of giving God His due praise.
He did make both the cat and the dog. (:

2009-12-30T19:34:00.003+08:00

found this photo as i was digging through my archives for ting's vision night stuff.

the village church in tararan before our presentation.

fleeting moments.

2009-12-23T01:47:00.004+08:00

the days are slipping by.

elusive shadows that exist and disappear.

and just a few images of whats been happening onboard..

#1: the crane that tore a hole in the tours booth.

#2: best korean noodles ever courtesy of eunjung.

daily disturbances that stun quite a few visitors.

my holiday is well-spent.

and its not over.

more fun tomorrow (:

a small keepsake.

2009-12-22T01:23:00.004+08:00

i like this photo veryvery much. (:

decorations at the compass cafe with me standing in the mainlounge.

many more photos i'd like to post,

evidence of a fruitful time with the camera,

and also evidence of a relatively slack tours schedule.

the Doulos is one special ship,

and i'll be taking a small piece of her with me in each photograph i create.

2009-12-20T00:23:00.005+08:00

being a light unto His name.

when i took this photo, what struck me was this:

even though the Doulos is going out of service soon and her ministry will be halted,

but God's name will continue to be glorified in all circumstances.

she is a special old lady, but what truly makes the Doulos special,

are the people who serves on her and the God she serves. (:

the history, the ministry and everything else pales in comparison.

and i need to remember that God is sovereign,

He alone decides where He wants us to be.

but God is also wise, and loving.

and thus, there is a reason for everything that happens.

changes, be it good or bad. people, who encourage, tear down or disappoint.

blessed be His name.

regardless of the season, its always time to be a blessing and a testimony to His goodness.

the setting.

2009-12-18T02:40:00.004+08:00

Mary-Lou giving a short tour of the ship to some of the bccsc people.
christmas decorations are up (: but main street is relatively empty.

when one experiences something better,

sometimes, there is a sudden realisation of the inadequacies that are obscenely present in one's life.

and other times, there is just this sudden wave of disappointment over the current state of affairs, even if one does not always know what is wrong.

i think thats where i am now.

a whimsical affair

2009-12-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

i've got this fascination with bubbles.

they bring such fleeting pleasure;

mere moments of existence but how very captivating.

utterly fragile, so easily snuffed out;

yet flexible, the tensile strength creating bubbles.

they characterise the small blessings that we choose to be.

tiny, transient moments that make no tangible contributions.

its a good time to sort through these thoughts.

i like quiet, nua-ing days.

but i like tours even better!

love the ship's atmosphere!

the camera is back in business.

2009-12-08T05:01:00.004+08:00

been shooting a lot of random stuff over the weekend.

nothing awesome that truly stands out.

a few nice ones here and there, and many unpolished gems.

but nothing that i'm swooning over, as yet.

but its still early. (:

i'm only just getting used to my camera.

i hope something nice gets created soon.

but for now, this pic taken at 5.45 am in the morning is sufficient to say that, i'm absolutely DELIGHTED to get back to shooting. (even if its just random stuff)

more photos will be up on redsports soon i think. (:

2009-11-25T00:26:00.002+08:00

this blog is very dead. and i apologise for it.

but i marvel at my determination in not taking the camera out during exam season.

or maybe its just procrastination. but whatever.

its sitting in its lonely prison, but it wont be long till freedom comes!

i will be back with a vengeance after 3rd Dec. (((:

shall now try to see if there's a chance for me to shoot the stanchart marathon with redsports.

Her Beauty, Discovered

2009-11-05T02:02:00.001+08:00

Her Beauty, Discovered, originally uploaded by hueythatsme.

just felt like seeing something nice up here again.

my laptop is under repair,
plus, i hid my CF card in an attempt to keep myself from shooting,
and its working, because now i cant find the card (and i cant shoot)
so i'm resorting to posting old photos from flickr.

one of my favourite photos.
any imperfections that anyone sees,
please please point it out.
i want to recreate this photo sometime.

havent created anything stunning in a long time.
i should be shot for hiding that CF card.

2009-10-23T05:25:00.003+08:00

i feel as lousy as this photo is plain.

on one hand, i'm glad this essay is almost done.

on the other, i feel like i could have put in so much more.

i havent been very focused in the past few days.

its been an unproductive week.

and i'm paying for it now.

by being up at 5.30am trying to finish this essay.

its a long day tomorrow.

i dont even feel like going for dinner w tuya & priscilla,

even though it's one of the last few times we can go out.

apparently, i still havent learnt my lesson about time management.

i dont think i'll forget this lesson any time soon though.

ironically, its my last deadline of the semester,

and its the one i screw up.

fantastic.

):

2009-10-16T13:39:00.003+08:00

for one,

when lines get blurred, things get thrown out,

when people that you thought you could count on,

suddenly become the things that you doubt,

i think,

i'll try to remember that i am no better.

and please.

pardon my dust, excuse the mess.

wash these failures away, one after another.

and lead me back in the way everlasting.

i need to love like how You loved.

and i need to live the way You told me to.

and time goes on.

2009-10-13T10:31:00.003+08:00

As we worship You,

Let all the world come and see
How the mercy we received from You can set them free

As we worship You,

Let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope to those who strayed so far

As we bow in adoration

And stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory,

Let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation

Fill each heart we pray

As we worship You,

Let all the nations hear our song

Song of Jesus and His blood that proved His love for all
As we worship You,

May all the lost and broken come
May they hear Your still small voice call out their names each one.

-Don Moen

and i hope that i will wont ever forget this.

the lessons i've learnt, the blessings received.

and that i will serve God while i wait.

1880 people were blessed in total.

just 5 short days here.

and God's hand was in each and every tour.

simply amazing.

"doulos" means "servant", thats what i'll be.

2009-10-11T19:15:00.002+08:00

the Doulos has made its way back to Singapore, finally. ((((((((:

and its just been awesome how i've experienced & heard from God in so many small ways since then. such a blessing to have it back, now. (: makes school pale in comparison to the eternal work they are doing. (and that i am doing too, for now) it was an eventful end to week 8, something i have been anticipating since they confirmed their visit.

i loved every minute of volunteering onboard again, and monday will be my last day as a tour guide(here, because, who knows what the future may bring?) catching up, seeing the familiar faces again, smelling that particular ship's smell.. just totally AWESOME.

currently being stressed out to the max, over school work and retarded things like that, but simultaneously being SO blessed by my friends that sometimes i dont know what it is that i'm feeling. all i know is that, life is good. (:

quite a muted arrival for this port. not that many people were out with their flags..

it was nice watching them come in, but how i'd love to actually sail in with them.

(i've only done it once, btw)

pardon the lack of more photos, of the whole ship as well as the event in general. too excited, too busy and too forgetful to take more (:

but all too soon, the ship will be leaving vivo for tuas and then out of Singapore for good. and, it will be then that i've got to remember what it is i'm here for, and to be faithful in this small role that i've been given for now. (: and wait patiently for the time for me to put these years of preparation to good use. bottom line is, i'll be happy wherever He wants me.

I've been holding on so tight

Look at these knuckles

They've gone white

I'm fighting for who I wanna be

I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one to lose control

You say you will be, everything I need

You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go.

Well it's hard enough to hear

Harder still, to move beyond this fear

We know there's nothing I can bring,

So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one to lose control

You say You will be, everything I need

You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?

What do I hate?

What will I lose?

What will I gain?

How do I save my soul?

What if I bend?

What if I break?

What will it cost?

What will it take?

For you to save my soul.

a reunion, once again. (:

2009-10-04T00:43:00.002+08:00

nice portrait of kat and zsuzsi (:

i was shooting from the info deck (i think) and they were on the bookex deck whilst the ship was pulling out of subic bay. speaking of which, i hope it didnt bear the brunt of the typhoon. ):
the ship's coming back real soon. ((((:

cant wait to see my friends again.

its the people who make the ship so special.

dont know what it'll feel like this time,

this being the last time it'll be in singapore for a long time,

and knowing barely a handful of people.

but i'm still thankful i've got a few good friends onboard. (:

thinking about it makes my deadlines fade away.

haha. escapism to the max.

learning.

2009-09-29T00:29:00.004+08:00

this is what its like taking a module without people one can call "friends".
i need to learn to love people i dont love.

on a brighter note, i'm training with lm soon (:
holding the discus and jave again will feel good.

2009-09-27T01:54:00.002+08:00

dive in.

bury yourself in this consuming sea of delusion.

submerge all that you are in the vast ocean of doubts and fears.

dive deep, kick hard, reach the ocean bed!

find that prominent pearl of pleasure, fulfill your biggest dreams.

and maybe, when you're there, you'll find the truth -

that this was not the truth.

it was all a lie, an elaborate decoy.

because, there you'll see,

sparkling hints of sunlight filtering through,

from above, where oxygen abides,

where life really is.

taken in tioman a few years back. (:

kinda like the unintentional classic effect,

in b&w, it might look like a shot from the '80s or older.

just the kind of timeless shot that one would expect to see now.

of course, when i mean timeless, i'm really not saying its a masterpiece. (like the real classics) i actually mean that it was just a careless snapshot that wasnt much, until it was viewed through the lens of retrospective nostalgia. and then, its rating got better as i got older. still cant place my finger on exactly why i like this photo, maybe i'll figure it out 5 years down the road when i'm a quarter of a century old.

tararan village (:

2009-09-18T00:20:00.007+08:00

when the ship left us on the lonely quayside at 5.30 am.
this flock of bired

this REALLY needs to be viewed LARGE. the scenery in papua new guinea is breathtaking. my friend described this as a "green" south africa.
at the village,
Rubi (i cant really remember her name) brought us to the village church.

and finally, a makeshift basketball hoop. (:

decided to brighten the night with photos. (:
and i never managed to look through & edit all my doulos photos, so i decided to do it tonight! (:
this was my overnight at tararan village with 5 other ladies. it was an awesome experience. like, trekking 30min through bush to get to a brown river to bathe. bringing my camera wasnt an option because we had to cross small pools using a log! so no pics from there. ): OHWELL.

reflections.

2009-09-17T03:55:00.003+08:00

its been a forgettable week.
and i havent found the motivation to take out the camera yet.

so its some old photos
because i wont post the work of others here,
and i wont force the camera out of my drybox.
kind of like a stalemate, just that i have choices.

i really like this shot anyway. (:

feel it coming.

2009-09-14T01:19:00.002+08:00

one of my first attempts at sports photog.
chook and walter (i think) during sports day.
walter just spoils the pic, but he adds in that element of imperfection.
the eye ought to be drawn to the javelin and the feel of power in the photo,
but instead, it is distracted by the figure slouching in the background.
kind of a juxtapose, balancing out the tension,
but an inefficient one.

kind of like how i feel. tomorrow (or rather, today), being the start of week SIX. half a sem to go. and a whole lot more deadlines coming my way.

But hope still breathes and truth is always true

2009-09-10T00:22:00.002+08:00

It was love that set this fragile planet rolling
Tilting at our perfect twenty-three
Molecules and men infused with holy
Finding our way around the galaxy

And Paradise has up and flown away for now
But hope still breathes and truth is always true
And just when we think its almost over
Love has the final move
Love has the final move
-Chris Rice, The Final Move.

it was love that started yc. love that fills the people in yc. and love that will continue on in yc. (: we'd be nothing without the love.

day 1 (:

2009-09-08T01:37:00.002+08:00

(click on the photo to view it large!!)

one of the biggest smiles of today. (:
i made friends with this little boy whilst taking photos for the social work presentation. (: since we were supposed to observe children and evaluate the playground, i might as well interact with them right?

he was curiously following me around after i caught this shot of him. and he recognised himself in the photo so he pointed to himself and smiled!! he's probably 1 plus, so i guess he couldnt really talk yet, cuz he tried to ask his mom to see and he kept saying "ma! wo!" like, some distorted chinese version of "mom, look! its me!" SOOOO CUTE. (:

Jesus loves the little children,
and i can see one reason why. (:

the semester documentary.

2009-09-04T00:12:00.004+08:00

been neglecting this blog ever since i've been posting photos on the other one. but i feel inspired to do a day-by-day shoot of my second year in uni.
the ups and downs, left right centre.

(: it would do me a whole lot of good to practice looking out for the small things that bring a smile to my face. no matter how totally bummed the day is, there definitely will be something God has left as a litte note of love to me. (: i'm gonna start today. or rather, start posting today, a few photos from yesterday and last weekend. (:
my semester project for week 4.

a random note of encouragement after inspiration struck whilst doing something else for someone. (:
one of the many things that brighten up a dreary noticeboard thats full of stressful post-it reminders.

and le finale!

this is my favorite photo of the week! (: hahaha. i can never understand my girls fully. i dont know who amanda is posing for. dont know what deb is counting. and dont know why charlene looks deep in thought. now i just need photos of minyi clarissa and clara doing their thing!
until tomorrow!

the joy of the Lord will be my strength. (:

handicapped.

2009-08-10T01:36:00.001+08:00

when i am weak, You are strong.
so hold my hand and lead me on.

glimpses of Your heart.

2009-08-08T03:02:00.000+08:00

having a heart that seeks after You.
thats all i want, really.
everything else, its secondary.
i'll be able to live without those.
i think.

i want to see You in every little thing.
that evening at Telunas, i was at the beach looking out for something i could glorify you with. first the flowers caught my eye. pretty red little flowers strewn all over the white sand, some were shrivelled up and rotting, others looked like they still belonged on the tree. soon, this plain dried leaf caught my eye as i was thinking about sam's passing remark about You reminding us of your love in some very big and very small ways. then i noticed this leaf for what it was, you put small little images of Your heart on earth to remind us, every day, that you love us. and i'm so grateful for that lovely picture and that wonderful time of fellowship.

remembering what was.

2009-08-06T03:06:00.002+08:00

thought of tuya, marylou, priscilla and the times i had on the ship.
and of all the friends back there in YL and BJ.

i hate it that missing someone is such a key part of life.

a supernova.

2009-07-28T02:19:00.004+08:00

just out of this world;
its one thing to call the God of the universe, the mighty awesome Creator, - 'God'.
but its a different thing to call that same God, 'Friend'.
and it is worlds apart when that powerful God lets one experience the love and guidance of the perfect Friend. (:

i think its awesome to know that this is the God i believe in. (:

2009-07-23T01:37:00.003+08:00

take me deeper, burn brighter
draw me in and help me out.

learning to burn brightly for you. to study, to obey and then to teach. listening and waiting upon You each day. because, You are God, there is no other.
striving for success has proven to be a failure, there is no success if You arent there. so light Your flame, consume all the worldly possessions i hold dear, and let it burn, like a beacon in the darkness, like a city on a hill.

²²For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.
Mark 4:22

memories.

2009-07-14T23:57:00.003+08:00

the memories.and so its just another farewell my friend.
this flower reminded me of a photo i made late last year, and also, the friend who gave it to me on the spur of the moment, hence the title. even though aussie and sept arent that far away, it'll be rather different.

i like the way the flower rests so lightly on the fir tree. if you look closer, you'll see that its supported by just two petals that suspend it in the air. and somehow, to me its just a pleasant sight (: reminds me of how God is somehow able to keep us afloat even with just two fragile little petals when the gravity of the world drags us down. technically not a very fantastic photo, but a soothing one nonetheless.

2009-07-12T03:15:00.003+08:00

more love. more joy. more You.
wash away the parts of me that contaminate my heart and my mind. let everything that is not of You be flushed out. just like it were a cleansing, when the dirt is gradually cleaned up and i become more like You, filled with more of your peace and joy. less of the world and all its materialistic lures of status and wealth.

i felt a tug today, a pull towards something radically different. it feels like an unravelling of myself, as if once this knot is loosened and released, then everything will unfurl. naturally, there was resistance.

if He calls you, say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.'
1 Samuel 3:9

watching the world pass her by.

2009-07-10T02:51:00.003+08:00

pensive. thinking about things that need more doing and less thinking. but its so hard to do it when it takes two hands to clap. thinking about what it means to be a buy-and-throw-away good. or maybe, just a distraction from the current tiff. sometimes its terribly difficult to stretch out that hand again, the same hand which has been ignored when times are good.

and yet, thats what Jesus did for me. seventy times seven times, over and over. the perfect Friend.

friendship.

2009-07-02T23:45:00.005+08:00

we're bonded in more than one way.

friends dont just disappear. they hold on. the shared moments they have had will still bind them if they let their hands go. even if they want to, they cant. its inexplicable, why something as inconsequential as memories can have such iron fists. but maybe, thats why someone has to reach out, to take the initiative and remind the other that, hey, we've shared too much to just let go now. to look back, take courage in what the Lord has done in both their lives and move forward hand in hand.

I had a big idea,
I had a crazy eye
I broke the sacred seal,
I told a lazy lie.

I've had my conscience bent
I've had my patience tried
I've been up in the desert
and down by the river side

Will the eagle fly
If the sky's untrue,
Do the faithful sigh
Because they are so few.

Remember when I cried,
Remember when you knew
Remember the look in your eyes
I know I do
- jars of clay, Dig.

how time flies.

2009-06-22T01:31:00.003+08:00

how time has flown.
along the way many of us have lost ourselves and found God in the process. the hohos and hehes are now sec 4s. which we once were, 4 years ago. a lot has changed during this time. changes within ourselves, between each other and around all of us.
but what intruiges me most is the masks on our faces. i wonder if, for all of us, have we been putting on or taking off those masks? individually, between pairs and in our different groups? did the time that passed us really make much of a difference in our influences on one another? what does it matter anyway? we've come such a long way from being the HAHAs, to having our own big and small cells, that it makes me question; just HOW different are we? deep down inside, did this 4 years really change us much?

2009-05-23T23:56:00.004+08:00

abstract art anyone?
i think it just looks random and the only saving grace is the vibrancy of the colors. hahaha. well.. i'll upload some nicer ones soon...

SCC.

2009-05-14T02:00:00.005+08:00

rough-housing.
kinyi at the playground.
back to scc, to the happy, chaotic noise. and the smiles that are always true. (: after a whole year of superficial school life, coming back to scc and just watching the kids shout, scream and play, its liberating. and i'm reminded of what it means to be sincere. to laugh and to play, and even to fight and cry.

first day back there as a volunteer and i already saw jimson whacking his own head and claiming that jerome did it! hahahaha. more interesting escapades to come!

its all coming to an end.

2009-05-03T22:32:00.004+08:00

april has come and gone, its already May. and.. very soon, i'll get to see my friends again. tomorrow's the last day of the examinations, the last day of year 1 in NUS. i've yet to panic for the upcoming paper, but this academic year cant pass soon enough.
i've gotten myself lost, countless of times. when school first started, when things got rough, when i thought i was doing fine. but God never gave up, and i'm slowly muddling my way back to Him. hanging on and pulling on Him. along the way, i've found that there arent that many people who actually care. people who say they do, but dont, not sincerely anyway. but i've also found, that there are some who are precious blessings. through it all, He's been there. in the background when i pushed Him away, in the foreground when i came crawling back. probably, the most important lesson i've learnt this year, is the wretchedness of our beings. our black dirty selves who dare to stand in God's glory, only by the grace He gives.

a new day is coming. one which is gonna last three months, one that is full of hopes, and dreams and castles in the air. but i know that it is one which i have committed fully to Him. although my flesh still hopes and covets that dive trip with weiqi (:

i guess, i'm glad to be where i am. failures, wounds, scars and everything.

Convinced of my deception
I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would

A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be...
Frail.

Blessed are the shallow
Depth they'll never find
Seems to be some comfort
In rooms I try to hide

Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

-Frail, Jars of Clay.

WAR.

2009-04-19T00:07:00.003+08:00

escape the angry words and sullen faces. its a war zone, or so he thinks. apparently the whole world is out to get him. he's mr righteous, he's mr accused. its always i'm-the-bullied-one, i'm-the-misunderstood-one. stop blaming the circumstances. this has always been far from perfect, but its no excuse. confrontations never work. and your warped interpretations and accusations are really just crap.

emo-ing.

2009-04-15T03:11:00.002+08:00

there are times when you just need to think things through.
you dont want any help because you feel like such a fool.
love has played you over, under and pierced right through you.
you loved, and lost, and decided its better to never let love rule.

but take your time to find your feet,
there's a whole world out there for you to meet.
run your own race and find what makes you tick,
while that someone special is sorting through his own grit,

and maybe one day, your fairytale might just come true.

such an emo pic deserves an emo-ish poem. (: hahaha. albeit very unprofessional and unstylish (as compared to the literary greats from A14) but still, i like the pic, and i think its just waiting to find its correct partner in prose/poetry/etc. this pic was kind of a fluke, because i took it while weiqi was just getting ready to pose.

great day out. fantastic views. interesting dinner. comfortable crap. and the best company!

Good Friday.

2009-04-11T21:04:00.001+08:00

to love as He loved, originally uploaded by hueythatsme.

(:
a time to remember God's love for us.
and for this special good friday,
to try and spread that love around a little bit more.

Flickr

2009-04-11T21:01:00.001+08:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

waiting

2009-03-30T22:28:00.004+08:00

watching; for that playmate who said he'd come.
hoping; for the tell-tale whistling of "everything's gonna be alright"
waiting; for that friend who never came.

2009-03-24T03:15:00.003+08:00

some of my pictures lose their essence over time.
but somehow, this picture still strikes a chord with me.
it's made it to my folder of All-time favs. (:

where people have retail therapy,
i have photo-therapy.

and i really like my new wide angle prime.
its not an easy lens to use.
but i like what i see so far.

my livelihood.

2009-03-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

i need to be grateful that this is not my means of income.
i should be thankful that i am not an outcast of society.
i ought to be happy that i do not count coins at the end of the day.

but its easily forgotten when everyone around you enjoys the same level of comfort. living in a developed country, mixing with the fortunate, learning alongside the bright, its all too easy to forget the poor, the hungry and the lost. but how one can reconcile these two worlds without causing havoc in the former, i dont know.

how do people offer help to the needy without feeling hypocritical?
how do you help them to the best of your abilities without giving up everything?
how do people say to God, "i love You" by living like this.
by turning a deaf ear, a blind eye, and a hardened heart away from those who need Him?
and how do i change this in my life?

i dont know.

if you do, tell me.

race on.

2009-02-26T00:30:00.003+08:00

chasing that pack leader,
who's chasing something far greater.
feeling kinda bummed about my photog.. just saw some awesome pics of the ocbc cycle race, and well.. i'm nowhere near reaching that level of quality in my shots. on one hand, i know its the lack of practice and experience. on the other, something bugs me about that lack of talent.

sports photography isnt all that important.. in sports where the emotion is so raw and expressive, its just amazing to be able to capture that moment. during that event, it felt like... something normal. seems like cycling is just not my cup of tea, ball games still enthrall me, somehow. but i still feel bummed about not getting nicer shots.

when essays drive me nuts,

2009-02-18T02:46:00.005+08:00

so i do what i always do. (almost always).
i make photos.

granted. these are rather straightforward and smack-in-your-face, with absolutely nothing special in terms of effects etc. but it gets my point across. and its carthartic. jonk and steph write very cheem emo-nemo passages, chook throws broken javelins, some people cry, some people run, some people chiong weights, i dig out my camera. or i look at photos.

i've been writing rubbish. my essay is far from polished. and its due tomorrow. in about 14hrs time (plus lessons inbetween). i dont like this perfectionist streak in me. ultra sian now.

i hope the photos look moody enough. i prefer the first one. an angry rubbish monster. created by a pile of rough paper and my accounting project research. (HAH! its a fitting end to that horrible stack of papers) tried a few different piles of rubbish because it looked too plain, so i ended up drawing some angry eyes. maybe if caron drew the eyes it'd look better.

the second photo. well. its a mess. all the wires thick and thin all entangled. not exactly as gd as i imagined but.. i guess its gotta work for now. until i have more time (and more stress) mugging for finals.

unbelievable that i get so fed up with ONE essay and a long to-do list. wonder how cheryl copes. she's already done 3 essays this sem! for usp somemore. madness.

The Rubbish Monster.What a %$#!^@ mess!!

ah.crap.i.need.lots.of.wisdom.and.grace.to.get.this.done.

desaturated colors

2009-02-17T23:24:00.003+08:00

poverty is so depressing.
globalisation is so callous.
even playgrounds lose their vibrant colors.

i dont like essays.
notimenotimenotime!
(but somehow i still have time for photos. HAH.)

from where you fell.

2009-02-10T22:38:00.001+08:00

get up.
brush away the fall.
one race.
give it all you've got.
come on.
not for men's praise.
but one day,
to hear the phrase,
"Well done, good and faithful servant."

get up and RUN.
new days bring renewed grace.

target practice

2009-02-05T01:14:00.003+08:00

what happens if you wear your heart on your sleeve?
one probability: they become target practice.
kind of hard to say if it wont, isn't it.
your hopes are raised,
your eyes are staring keenly through the haze.
your heart dreams.

i thought this looked kind of nice as a collage. maybe 16 hearts would have been better suited to the title. heh. =) but the red comes out kind of nicely.. by-product of caron/ting/kev's bday heart! it needs an emo post. hearts dont look good with too chirpy stuff.

2009-01-31T01:23:00.003+08:00

its been a year.
since i graduated from vj.
since i went on my 3rd mission trip.
and since my 2mths onboard.

and much of what i've been mulling over,
seems to be stuck on these 3 above.

i want to go back to baojin. and to yanling.
wonder when will that ever be possible.
and some of them are uncontactable.

now that i think about it.
it seems more appealing than the USA.
i'm weird.

musings.

2009-01-28T16:41:00.004+08:00

This:

wandering and wondering.
fulfilling one dream or another.
a clash of desires.
set to collide in the near future.

but for now, i'm called to run my race.
fuelled only, by this amazing thing called grace.

Joy.

2009-01-20T02:52:00.004+08:00

dont you admire kids?
their joy for life, their outlook is just so upbeat.
just ten years down the road, and my! what a difference.
you hardly see such exuberance.
some, yes. but no such unbridled zest,
no happiness unveiled by curtains.

ten years, twenty years, thirty years,
no matter the ages
aren't we still children?
dearly loved children of the Most High,
such precious gems in His eyes?
why do we still have the sorrows and the tears?
why do we still stress over the pressures here?

we are still held hostage,
captives of the world and its foolish sages,
locked in this pressure cooker,
for such a needless reason,
as our lack of faith.

blessings,
they feel more like special occasions,
when in fact, they are our daily rations.
in such plentiful supply that we should eat until we burst
and let the love and joy and peace and grace,
overflow into the world, which feels so cursed.

but we dont.
and i dont know why.

we have been justified.
by faith in Christ.
so i still dont know why,
in my everyday life,
in the studies so dry,
in times of family strife,
why i dont jump for joy.

by right, i should be.
the love of God should be overflowing from me.
and i should be experiencing that joy,
for free.

Officially Approved!

2009-01-15T23:18:00.003+08:00

i'm officially a driver!
watch me speed!
in defiance of Big Brother.

okay. no. i'm not gonna speed. i dont even dare beat a red light. not now anyway...

keep my focus.

2009-01-09T13:55:00.002+08:00

fix your eyes on Jesus.

its all You.
i just need to keep my focus.
take it off the world, cursed.

i will waver and i will fail,
but after the scary gale,
i'll live to tell the tale,
of your mercy and your grace,
of your unfailing love through this phase.

seven semesters of school left.

2009.

2009-01-04T00:50:00.002+08:00

all glory is to You.
and you alone.

more of you, less of me.
let your love overflow continually.
past the pride, past the shame,
past the barriers i've put despite my claim.

1st Jan 2009

2009-01-01T17:25:00.003+08:00

its 2009.

the old has gone, the new has come.
bringing with it new friends, new experiences, new revelations and a new old.
God's been just SO good to me in 2008.
i cant wait to see what He does with me in 2009.

happy new year everyone!

on the sparrow.

2008-12-28T00:21:00.003+08:00

Your eye is on the sparrow,
and Your hand, it comforts me.
from the ends of the earth
to the depth of my heart
let your mercy and strength be seen.

you call me to your purpose
as angels understand.
for your glory, may you draw all men
as your love and grace demands.

and i will run to you.
to your words of truth.
not by might, not by power
but by the spirit of God.

effort.

2008-12-24T13:36:00.003+08:00

sometimes, no matter how hard you try,
the ball is always just that short distance away from your fingertips.

maybe its a lesson on dependence,
maybe its a consequence.
but the results couldnt be any worse.

they'll never let this failure pass.

so many "if only-s"
but i was reminded,
God also rules over the inconsistencies.
and He's mapped out my path for me.

i need to pia like crazy next sem.
no excuses.

through fields of grace.

2008-12-16T02:07:00.003+08:00

modules, schedules,
and priorities that confuse.
first sem and i barely scraped through.
anxious and afraid.
without God, i dont know what i'd do.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?.... And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin... If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" - Matthew 6: 26-30.

a timely rebuke.
but still, i falter.

effort.

2008-12-13T13:19:00.004+08:00

barbells.
symbols of strength,
of sweat and toil.
motivators of goals,
objects used for boasts.

but.
unlike fitness and health and anything physical,
some things you work for, you can never get.

like love from a father.

and some things you can never work enough for.

like love from the Father.

news.

2008-12-10T20:07:00.004+08:00

run, run far far away.
leave this madness behind.
catch hold of time.
take it with you,
before it turns your hair old and grey.

don't stop hoping while you're young.
go when you're ready to.
there's so much to see,
so many things to do.
i just know He'll carry you through.

hope never fails,
not when its in the right place.

untitled.

2008-12-09T00:37:00.004+08:00

her fragrance appreciated only by the breeze,
her delicate beauty no longer adorned trees,
there her destiny lay,
on the ground,
to be trampled by kids at play.
but someone saw,
beneath that flawed exterior,
there was worth in this flower,
just because she knew her Creator.

the one picture worth putting up after hours of shooting. =) but it was worth it. although i need more practice. plus. its about time i started working on my photog. my camera has been languishing in its bag for too long. hopefully there's more to come this holiday season.

the doulos has left. it took my friends away with it. on thursday night after that stupid last module, i'm gonna sit down and make a photo. if its successful, i'll post it here. if i just talk about something else, then.. ohwell.

lost in the blur.

2008-12-02T03:20:00.003+08:00

i know i've said this to julia and dani. BUT, for some weird reason, i keep expecting to see anne, ji hye and the rest still onboard! like, somehow i think that they're just working or something..... WEIRD.
seems like it hasnt sunk in that they're all at home now. i think the ship holds its own meaning, but like anywhere else, the true emotional attachment comes from the people.

its been FANTASTIC just seeing the ship again at vivocity. my heart literally skipped a beat. but then as i walked its length, i saw, a different watchman, different deckies and but a not so different ship. and then, i think i really realised, those 2 months were SUCH a long time ago and its about time i started thinking ahead again. back to reality, in marylou's words. although we exist in different realities.... oh well.

to see where God leads, and not keep on going back to where He has brought me.

i think the ship will feel even weirder when i stay in the guest cabin, and when i see people like caron, xin and kev in familiar backgrounds. somehow i just cannot imagine it. and seeing a chinese majority instead of papua new guineans.... that'll be something new too. HMM. i wonder how its like. more pictures!

my camera is back in business.

the bane of my life.

2008-11-30T14:25:00.004+08:00

the title says it all..... i want to go out and play with my camera. i want to go see the ship (but thank goodness its at anchor, or else i'll hate social work even more). but social work is really the "nicest" module around. i meant in terms of the content. its the ONLY module besides nursing degree that's NOT self-focused.

"belief in human capacity for change, inherent worth and dignity of every individual, unique and social characteristics of humans" the core values of social work. you'll have only the really kind-hearted and compassionate and positive and non-critical people as coursemates if you major in this. people like me who criticise policies non-stop belong in a different major. i.e. economics where the base assumption is that everybody makes decisions based on SELF-benefit. if you take away that assumption, there goes ALL the theories and models of economics.

even the humblest demand-supply model cannot stand if the market in that model is made up of social workers. that being said, its not a bad thing if these models fail, the world needs more than econs. but econs is, mostly, what its going to get.

THEY'RE HERE!!

2008-11-21T02:34:00.003+08:00

THE DOULOS IS FINALLY HERE!

although im kinda sad that it didnt bring anne, julia and dani with it.... but it brought other friends! =) so its still good.
somehow i still have this weird impression that they're still onboard and its just that i havent seen them.. HMM. impossible cuz they're all back home. brain spoil.

now i just cant wait for exams to be over and to finally hang out. although i imagine they'll be really busy with drydock stuff...

whilst studying:

2008-11-17T00:43:00.006+08:00

the faraway exit.
words of wisdom when one is tempted to turn back to the familiar, happier times.

messing around with my camera when i shouldnt be. thats obvious.

the javelin.

2008-11-12T00:29:00.003+08:00

i miss throwing.
and i miss shooting.

and i miss vj.

battling inertia

2008-11-07T01:37:00.001+08:00

inertia. in terms of studies and other things.

play bat!

2008-10-18T18:42:00.005+08:00

"plabat plabat, bat? bat ok ok?" - translated into: "i want to play bat!" (which is a game jimson and branson invented)"
social work essay on ID kids really makes me appreciate scc for what they do. jimson and branson and perry and jerome and kaijie really get SO much more help. and i miss jimson and branson a lot. esp all their rubbish (literally jimson's rubbish which he picks up from who-knows-where!)
and their game of "bat" which is a game of solo badminton using a table tennis bat. i think they're on to something here though.. hahaha. its a fun indoor game! seriously!
.... if only socialwork module was more hands on.

Ranting Maniac

2008-10-14T00:15:00.005+08:00

danger- ranting maniac ahead.
been trying to do up my portfolio these past two days..AND all i've done is to rule out flickr, slide, snapfish, picasa, imagestation and photobucket. which leaves me with who-knows-what to host my pictures with appropriate background music and a reasonably-sized slideshow! stupid.

i need to stop spending time on that. and stop grumbling about my pictures as well. lousy means lousy, no amount of touching up is gonna save the pics. at least the nice ones make me happy, but they are few and far between.

okay. math calls. for now, stay away from me if u'd rather not hear about photos or studies. i'm VERY ready to give anyone an earful about how studies ruin the life of students.

just 2.

2008-10-10T01:18:00.003+08:00

my new secondhand cam has dust. =(
but just 2 shots to share from today..

the sharp barbs that stand in the way,
of You in me,
of experiencing Your glory.

the imperfect one.
the one with spots and stains,
the one with broken petals,
the one with tainted beauty.
but thats the one you chose.

memories.

2008-10-01T20:24:00.000+08:00

it sucks to know that we're not going back there this year.

just some time alone.

2008-10-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

with you, everything falls in place.
but i need to be alone to be with you.

just a moment

2008-09-28T20:53:00.002+08:00

everytime i look into Your eyes,
there's a pleasant surprise
awaiting me,
and amazing me.
somehow i realise, i'm so tired of the lies they keep telling me.
telling me i should look down inside myself to find something greater,
when i know i can look at the bright side and find
the Creator.

I just need to spend one moment with You.
somehow its a brand new world i'm passing through.
You lift me higher,
You let me see
over the walls that surrounded me.
dont need to prove myself,
just need to show and tell,
its You in me.
---JuwitaSuwito, You in Me.

i just need that ONE moment with You to see,
i've got everything wrong.